My Debate Chronicles

Redemption?

After dumping such a graphic part for you guys as part 5, I have been consumed by activities of life 🫠.

I was writing exams, house hunting,and being pressed on the neck to release this part by Big Zeph.

Sooooooo, welcome to part 6!!!!

Come with me on myyyyyyyyy Debate Chronicles 🎉🎉😂

After the violent experience and all my tears, and breaks(which I wasn't involved in)😶, I didn't bother watching semis or finals. I was just lying down, eating, and existing.

Even during awards, I didn't attend 🤧 I was emotionally downcast.

Unfortunately for me, that was when I had issues with one of my travel partners. I remember her saying “I am not asking you to apologise” and I was like “I also don't plan on apologizing.” And she got annoyed. But it's fine.

In December,NDC X - Iri oma happened. I was still scared from the Word war experience and I didn't want to participate. I went to my friends and teachers and honestly told them about my feeling of possible PTSD. I couldn't get myself to be in another debate room. At least,not too soon.

Everyone of them reassured me. You know the “I see so much in you,this cannot be your end”, “Why are you still holding on to that? There's so much more to experience, you cannot allow one bad experience to cut it short for you.” type of talks. I am so grateful for them anyway.

After the very loving encouragement I got, I registered as a judge 😂 ( I find it funny typing this because after the Word war incident, I denounced judging. I had said to myself that if I ever debated again, it'd be solely as a speaker). But just like the sea kept calling Moana, judging kept calling me 😏.

Due to the trauma I was struggling with, I judged that tournament with two devices. One for the wudc manual and the other for other debate things.

Whenever a motion is released, I go to the manual and read what it says about that type of motion. It was a form of security for me. A type of comfort. A means to reassure myself that I had things under control and I wouldn't mess up.

I hope this is not trauma dumping 🤧🤧🤧

Anywayyyyyy it's time for the ✨ HONORARY MENTION✨ of this part

MARIAM 🎉🎉

She is the first judge I knew as a debater, my coach too at RSU. And we have been tied together for life. Whenever a tournament requires a team to appear with a judge, I am automatically her team's judge. We have also spoken together.

She is sooooo encouraging. Oh and at the same time, Pessimistic. Because (according to her) being pessimistic saves you from disappointment.

She writes so well too. And I really enjoy sharing a room with her. She was my default roommate for tournaments.

She also understands me. Oh and when I had the violent room thing, she comforted me 🤧🤧 and didn't like the people too.

Back to NDC X- Iri oma!!!

So throughout the tournament, I was taking life one step at a time.

I scaled through the first round without anyone questioning my judging abilities.

GUYS! In the second round, I was the Chair. 🎉🎉🎉

The panelist was a chill lady

I did live through delibs. 👏👏👏. It actually went smoothly.

That's how I was made solo chair in round 3 AND round 4

I like being a solo chair in blind rounds. I also love judging blind rounds too😌😌

The hard part of being a solo chair is that it's just you ( for me at that time it was a bit hard). So there's no extra person to add anything to your deliberation.

Although, sometimes, I know my ranking as the round ends.

The good side of being solo is that I don't have to think too much 😐. Sure I go over my notes and all, but it's easier doing it by myself.

The best side of being solo is when the round is blind and you just submit the ballot immediately.

Anyway, another bad thing about being solo in an open round (this is a personal struggle) is giving OA and personal feedback.

If I have a panelist or panelists, I can always say “ask them for personal feedback. They were very instrumental at arriving at the rankings”, and free me in some way.

I broke 🙂. Obviously!

And then I was called to judge the semi-finals.

Guys, the calibre of people on the panel had me thinking about my life🫠.

You know out rounds are delicate, and deliberations are thoroughly done.

It may not sound as a big deal to you guys but omo 😐 plus my past experience, my ears were cleaned and open. I shut out all the “oh I'm so scared” noise in my head. I sha didn't want to disgrace myself during deliberations.

Must I add that it wasn't novice semis.

During deliberations, I remember all of us having different calls. Omo😭

As the chair was reading out the calls of everyone ( you secretly submit your calls to the chair to avoid influencing others), I was just shaking my head 🙂‍↕️. Luckily for me, I had similar rankings with one person on the panel and he just wanted deliberations to end so I didn't talk much 😌😌😌

A team I had going to finals on my rankings eventually moved.

I didn't judge finals 🙂

Butttttt I won 2nd best novice adjudicator.

WHAT A CONFIDENCE BOOSTER❗❗❗❗

I was elated 😭😭😭😭.

It meant a lot to me. It felt a bit better than the reassurance words gave me.

It felt like I was repairing something that spoiled a month prior, and I was glad I didn't shy away from participating in the tournament.